Dream, Explore, Discover

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Experience 1

Next morning: I gathered as much courage as I could to speak to the girl at the steam room, who I swam next to little earlier. I tried to be as comfortable as possible on the exterior, but was a little unsettled inside. I 

1) start off with something in common (do you swim at UIC?). and get to know her on a casual level (what do you like to do, etc)

2) elaborate on what they say/ask follow up questions regarding it, rather than interrogating them with multiple questions.

Additionally, ask how they are, how they like it: ‘i came this semester for 2 year grad program’ (how do you like uic, united states, do you have family etc.)

3) add a little humor. ‘i speak at 10yo level’ (maybe 14)

4) try to be genuinely interested in them, talk about something you enjoy as well. -mazur

as i was walking out, i was feeling little nauseous from how nervous i was, hope with more experience, more comfortable i will become. 

Meeting someone new

Just as you are interested in meeting new people, others have the same interests and curiosities. When you have the opportunity to meet someone youre interested in, say something casual (girl studying at the lib: shes screwed isnt she? ; are you stuck here or have a big exam?).

Especially if you know you’ll most likely never cross paths, you’ll always be wondering what it could’ve been like and forever regret. (Sb red sweats). Hard to build courage but I guess whats the worst that could happen? Every opportunity would be a good step up to building more confidence.

Wonder if itll be difficult to meet new people after college, I guess at school you have something common, being in same school, to talk about. **find common ground & make it casual

Oct 8

"You know your god is man-made when he hates all the same people you do."

"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful." – Seneca the Younger

"Religion has ever been anti-human, anti-woman, anti-life, anti-peace, anti-reason and anti-science. The god idea has been detrimental not only to humankind but to the earth. It is time now for reason, education and science to take over." — Madalyn Murray O’Hair

Never again… rekindle my ambition. -10/8/2013

Oct 8
No matter where you are in career path, this is a personal commitment to start a venture, whether uncertain of the outcome, before turning thirty years of age. -10/8/2013

No matter where you are in career path, this is a personal commitment to start a venture, whether uncertain of the outcome, before turning thirty years of age. -10/8/2013

Oct 8
"It usually happens around thirty, give or take a couple of years. You’ll know when it happens. The exploration impulse gives way to the nesting impulse. You start to worry about growing old alone. You start to wonder what your kids would look like. Now it’s time for love. So invest in serious mating. But one step at a time. First comes love, then comes marriage, but hold off on the baby carriage. Yes, even though you’re 30 something when you marry, you need to wait a while for kids. Ignore the biological clock. It isn’t a time bomb. Having kids right after marriage could be a suicide bomb. Those first few years are special. You won’t have anything like that in your marriage again. Just as you needed to take time to indulge yourself in your twenties, you need to take to indulge your relationship in your thirties. Women are having babies at forty with no issues these days. People live productive lives well into their eighties and beyond. The goal is to be solid in your relationship, solid in your identity and your life, and then bring kids into a solid world. You’ll enjoy it much more than if you rushed it. And your kids will thank you."

No matter who I am in love with, this will be my personal pledge and covenant to not marry before 30. 10/8/2013

"It usually happens around thirty, give or take a couple of years. You’ll know when it happens. The exploration impulse gives way to the nesting impulse. You start to worry about growing old alone. You start to wonder what your kids would look like. Now it’s time for love. So invest in serious mating. But one step at a time. First comes love, then comes marriage, but hold off on the baby carriage. Yes, even though you’re 30 something when you marry, you need to wait a while for kids. Ignore the biological clock. It isn’t a time bomb. Having kids right after marriage could be a suicide bomb. Those first few years are special. You won’t have anything like that in your marriage again. Just as you needed to take time to indulge yourself in your twenties, you need to take to indulge your relationship in your thirties. Women are having babies at forty with no issues these days. People live productive lives well into their eighties and beyond. The goal is to be solid in your relationship, solid in your identity and your life, and then bring kids into a solid world. You’ll enjoy it much more than if you rushed it. And your kids will thank you."

No matter who I am in love with, this will be my personal pledge and covenant to not marry before 30. 10/8/2013

Oct 8
Get your twenties out of your system. Travel. Take risks. Move around. Quit school. Go back to school. Change careers. Change religions. Change your name if you want to. Do everything you need or want to do that requires absolute freedom to act quickly and often. Travel often. Travel light. Let your dreams and aspirations be your destination, but let curiosity be your guide. Follow every side road that intrigues you. Explore. Exclaim. Don’t worry about finding your way back. The only constant is change. The only threat is baggage. The twenties are carry-on baggage days. Preferably tote bag and a toothbrush days. Love is checked baggage. Love is freight. If you fall in love too soon, and allow yourself to get in too deep, you have just tied yourself to a freight train track. This doesn’t mean love isn’t the best thing that will ever happen to you. Eventually it might be. But probably not in your twenties. Twenties love is what divorces and mid-life crises are made of. Here’s what this particular train wreck looks like: a spouse you once loved more than life, sucking the life out of you. Kids, if they’re unlucky enough to be born to this relationship, that you’ll never be able to love more than you love yourself. Kids deserve better. Spouses deserve better. You deserve better. So…

Get your twenties out of your system. Travel. Take risks. Move around. Quit school. Go back to school. Change careers. Change religions. Change your name if you want to. Do everything you need or want to do that requires absolute freedom to act quickly and often. Travel often. Travel light. Let your dreams and aspirations be your destination, but let curiosity be your guide. Follow every side road that intrigues you. Explore. Exclaim. Don’t worry about finding your way back. The only constant is change. The only threat is baggage. The twenties are carry-on baggage days. Preferably tote bag and a toothbrush days. Love is checked baggage. Love is freight. If you fall in love too soon, and allow yourself to get in too deep, you have just tied yourself to a freight train track. This doesn’t mean love isn’t the best thing that will ever happen to you. Eventually it might be. But probably not in your twenties. Twenties love is what divorces and mid-life crises are made of. Here’s what this particular train wreck looks like: a spouse you once loved more than life, sucking the life out of you. Kids, if they’re unlucky enough to be born to this relationship, that you’ll never be able to love more than you love yourself. Kids deserve better. Spouses deserve better. You deserve better. So…

Oct 8

Why being in twenties is awesome

Being in your twenties is all about discovering which things hurt you and what makes you feel good. To feel and see as much as you can, to take advantage of not being tied down to anything and anyone and to go all out with everything and anything you do.

Being in your twenties allows us to start carving out the life we want for our self  For the most of our lives, we were living under parental guidance so we don’t really know ourselves completely. But now, everything is on your terms, it may seem daunting but it can actually be liberating. For the first time in your life you determine your life. 

Often times, we spend so much of our time wondering where we’ll be in the future, but once we get there, we’re going to miss this time. All the things you can do without having any obligations or commitments. Its truly a luxury. Therefore, I’m going to enjoy every minute of it, all the night outs, adventures, spontaneous decisions, youthful body.

We’re not stuck. Even if it feels like we are, it’s not true. We’re the opposite of stuck. As twentysomethings, we’re constantly moving — apartments, relationship, cities, jobs. Anything is possible. People are ready for you. They want to hear what you have to say. They look at you and are curious about what words are going to come out of your mouth. You’re the new generation. What do you have to say? Don’t bite your tongue. One day you’ll be pushed aside for a younger “fresher” perspective so you better get it out now. Make a mark. Make a stain. Make something.

I want to remember the fear, the promise, the people I’m not supposed to remember, not knowing myself, the moment I started to feel safe and like this life I’m leading is really mine. I’m going to be scared, I’m going to bruise my knees and not know how they got there, I’m going to try to fruitlessly forge a connection with someone who won’t ever get it, I’m going to lose the person that means the most to me and find my way back to them. I’m going to be a twentysomething because that’s what I am and all I know how to be.  And you should too. You should love every single moment of this hot mess of a decade. Chances are you’ll miss it before you even get to say ‘I’m 30.’”

Listening


“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”
― Ernest Hemingway

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. Covey

“It takes a great man to be a good listener.”
― Calvin Coolidge

"We have two ears and one tongue so that we would listen more and talk less." Talk less, listen more. More listening.

"To listen closely and reply well is the highest perfection we are able to attain in the art of conversation."
— Francois de La Rochefoucauld

"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them."
— Ralph Nichol

"Man’s inability to communicate is a result of his failure to listen effectively."
— Carl Rogers

I need to learn to listen. It was so foolish and selfish to not reciprocate and elaborating more on what she asked of me (you’ll be done soon, its bittersweet, Im looking forward to working but also enjoyed being a student).
Also not following up on what I asked her in depth or asking questions regarding what they just mentioned (I moved to sf, how do you like it or what do you do there) ask questions on what they menton

To live is a gift. To die is the end. Enjoy the one life you get.

To live is a gift. To die is the end. Enjoy the one life you get.

There is no supernatural, almighty being. To live is a gift. To die is the end.
"Maybe its dumb to look for signs from the universe..maybe the universe has better things to do. Dear God, I hope it does. 
Maybe there aren’t any signs. Maybe a locket’s just a locket..a chair is just a chair. Maybe we don’t have to give meaning to every little thing. Maybe we don’t need the universe to tell us what we really want. Maybe we already know that..deep down.” Ted Mosby s8e23

There is no supernatural, almighty being. To live is a gift. To die is the end.

"Maybe its dumb to look for signs from the universe..maybe the universe has better things to do. Dear God, I hope it does.

Maybe there aren’t any signs. Maybe a locket’s just a locket..a chair is just a chair. Maybe we don’t have to give meaning to every little thing. Maybe we don’t need the universe to tell us what we really want. Maybe we already know that..deep down.” Ted Mosby s8e23

Dilemma of Adopting

It’s great to see families that have decided to adopt a child that have been abandoned, especially the multiethnic adoptions.

I would like to follow the footsteps of those generous, kind hearted families but one thing that concerns me is, potentially giving favorable treatment to a biological child over adopted child. Or if the adopted child feel they are inferior or loved less than the other. It would be difficult to see the child sadden by lack of unconditionally loving parents. 

I would love to hear about how a adopting parent can show an adopted child that they love them just as much as their biological child.

there are many countries in the world with number of cities and amusing neighborhoods filled with distinguishing culture, great people, and a new perspective to gain. 
one can travel to a new place to see new things but the limitation to the surface seems inevitable. to fully understand, immersing through living seems to be a good method.
but to the contrary, it appears though as you age and accumulate more responsibilities and constraints, it is harder to choose freely. therefore, every moment deferred from moving, is a loss of opportunity to add a new experience
…I need to leave Chicago and move to nyc 

there are many countries in the world with number of cities and amusing neighborhoods filled with distinguishing culture, great people, and a new perspective to gain. 

one can travel to a new place to see new things but the limitation to the surface seems inevitable. to fully understand, immersing through living seems to be a good method.

but to the contrary, it appears though as you age and accumulate more responsibilities and constraints, it is harder to choose freely. therefore, every moment deferred from moving, is a loss of opportunity to add a new experience

…I need to leave Chicago and move to nyc